I am now 33 weeks pregnant. Wow! Timothy will most likely be here in less than 7 weeks! His official due date is April 12th. I decided it was probably about time to send out an update on our little guy, but if you have been following my blog closely you will have already heard some of this. Well, the doctors said he might not make it to term, and he has defied the odds so far. I am reminded of his precious life each day as he moves around constantly. My belly is getting bigger and his kicks are getting stronger and stronger. If I slump over too much while sitting these days, I get nailed in the ribs. He must be an athlete like his dad! We had a sonogram a couple of weeks ago and at that time he was only two weeks behind for his height and weight. However, the size of his head was measuring several weeks behind (which is normal for a Trisomy 13 baby). Everything else is pretty much the same as it was when we first received Timothy’s diagnosis. Nothing has gotten better, but nothing has gotten worse. We got to see a 3D picture of his face where he managed to give us a Gig ‘em Aggies with a huge thumbs up in front of his face. He looks adorable! He has a few small things that make him look a little different than most healthy babies, but he really looks like almost nothing is wrong with him from the outside. It is his organs that have been affected the most, which again is typical for trisomy 13 babies.
There is still no way for the doctors to predict exactly how long Timothy might get to be here with us before the Lord takes him home. Their biggest concern is that his heart only has two chambers. A normal heart has four chambers. So, we are not sure if his heart will be able to pump his blood correctly once he no longer has the support that my body is providing for him right now. This means that, once Timothy leaves my womb and comes into this world, his life is eminent danger. The doctor’s best guess is that we might only have seconds, minutes, hours, possibly a few days with him at the most. That is so hard! He has so much life right now! So much strength! It is so hard for me to imagine that after carrying him for 9 months and feeling him move every day, we might not get to spend much time with him while he is alive. That the same day I finally get to hold him in my arms and kiss him, may be the same day that I have to say goodbye!
And yet we know that science isn't always right. We know that God has every moment of Timothy’s life already planned out. That plan might be that even though Timothy’s heart only has two chambers it will beat and pump blood to his body way longer than any doctor would ever expect. But that plan might also be that Timothy will be born into this world and then go immediately into the presence of his Heavenly Father. There is no way to know for sure what will happen, so we just have to pray and trust the Lord with that one. But we are so truly thankful to have been given 33 weeks with him already. 33 weeks of precious life! And no matter what may come in the next 7 weeks, we cannot wait to hold our son in our arms!
This journey with Timothy has not been an easy one. Our lives will be forever changed. Some days there is peace and joy in the midst of our deep sorrow and other days there are mostly tears. But the Lord has not left us to walk through this journey alone, and we have felt his arms wrapped around us every day. God does not bring meaningless suffering into our lives, and if he has brought this trial into our lives we can know that he has plans to use it for good. Timothy’s life is not a mistake. Every day that he is here with us has been ordained by his Heavenly Father. Timothy’s life is bringing God glory and forever changing the lives of the people around him.
We continue to trust God with Timothy’s life. We continue to believe that His ways are higher than our ways. We continue to hold on to the hope that this world is not our home, and that one day we too will be ushered into the presence of our Heavenly Father. And God promises that He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. He promises to make everything new! We still feel so much pain and hurt right now, but we are able to hold on to the hope that God is in control and that Timothy’s life is in the hands of his Creator, his Heavenly Father that loves him more than we ever could.
We want to thank all of you that have been praying for us and walking alongside of us throughout this journey! We are so truly blessed to have had such wonderful friends and family members loving on us and being strong for us when we are weak. We know that the days ahead will be filled with great joy and great sorrow. We ask for your continued prayers and support. Pray that the Lord will continue to give us the strength and the peace that we need to face each day that is ahead. We love you all!
Julie & Warren