How do I pray?

It has been so hard throughout this whole journey to know how to pray. Do I pray for complete healing? Do I just pray for the Lord's will to be done? What do I pray? What does the Lord want me to pray?

Matthew 21:21 says, Jesus replied "Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree (which he told to never bear fruit again and it immediately withered), but also you can say to the mountains, Go throw yourself into the sea, and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

This verse makes me think I need to have great faith and boldly ask the Lord for Timothy's complete healing. And yet throughout my life, I know that there are things that I truly believed in and had faith and asked the Lord for and yet he said "no" I have something better for you. Like the time Warren and I really felt the Lord calling us to move back to College Station. We prayed and prayed over this decision and felt it was the Lord's will. We then sought out jobs in College Station, and yet the Lord quickly closed that door. Now that we are still in the Flower Mound area several years later, we can see that God's plan was good and that we are still here for so many reasons. Other than deeply missing be close to family, we love it here in Flower Mound and know that God is using us to serve him through our jobs and through Young Life.

So, that whole thought process left me torn about what to pray for in our situation with Timothy. As I kept reading through Matthew, I found where Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. This takes place right before he is about to be betrayed and taken away to be crucified.

Matthew 26:39 says, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

A few moments later Jesus prayed again saying, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done".

I know that Jesus had faith and Jesus healed many and performed miracle after miracle. So, it is not a question of him not believing that God could stop him from having to be crucified. He knew that God was powerful enough to save him from this, but he also knew there might be no other way for mankind to be saved from their sin. He selfishly prayed to be saved from the pain of death, but selflessly prayed if there was no other way that God's will would be done. Not his will, but God's will.

This was huge for me! It answered my prayer and my struggle for how I should pray for Timothy. I can pray as our ultimate example prayed. I can pray as Jesus did.

So, today this is my prayer: "My Father, if it is possible, may you heal our sweet Timothy completely. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Lord, if your will for our lives and the lives of everyone around us can only be accomplished through a sweet little baby with Trisomy 13 that may only live moments on this Earth and then spend eternity with you in heaven...then may your will be done. Yet, Lord if it is possible that your will can be accomplished through the miraculous healing of Timothy, then we ask for healing. But Lord, most of all, we ask that YOUR will be done. We trust you, we love you, and we give you Timothy's life. Amen.