ANNOUNCING.....BABY REICHEL #2!!!

   

Yes, you read that title right! I am 13 weeks pregnant! My due date is April 17th. Here are two precious pictures that were taken at our 12-week sonogram with the specialist. It was amazing what we could see! The sonogram was so high-tech that we were also able to find out that we are having another BABY BOY! We are so excited!!! Warren, keeps chanting "men, men, men" and keeps reminding me that the boys are taking over the house again : )

The 12 week sonogram went well and everything looked normal for 12 weeks, but we will know a lot more at our 16 & 20 week sonogram. The medical world says we have only a 1% chance of having another trisomy 13 baby, which is just slightly higher than the normal population. So, we ask for your prayers for us. Pray for peace, pray for a healthy baby boy, and a healthy pregnancy (since my pregnancies are so close together...there are a few slightly higher risks).

We are so thankful for this precious baby boy and we are hopeful and excited about what God has in store for us as we start this new journey with Baby Reichel #2! Thanks for all of your continued love and prayers and support for us! We are so blessed and thankful for each and everyone of you!

"We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you." -Psalm 33:20-22

"You Are Faithful, God, You Are Faithful"

Standing on this mountain top

Looking just how far we've come

Knowing that for every step you were with us

Kneeling on this battleground

Seeing just how much you You've done

Knowing every victory was your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way 

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did you leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, you are faithful

"Never Once": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e02UNZRsdSQ

I love this song by Matt Redman! I can't sing it without tears in my eyes. I have felt unmeasurable joy in the last year of my life and I have felt the depths of despair. I have felt the joy of a precious new life on the way and the despair of being told that "new life" will never be. I have felt the sweet, faithful, enduring love of my husband and family and friends and I have felt the immense heartache of loving and loosing a son....and yet at the top of my lungs I can sing, I can raise my hands in praise to a holy Savior, because these words are true.... Never once did we ever walk alone! Never once did you leave us on our own! You are faithful, God, you are faithful!

Today, I am looking back. Today, I am remembering how God was there in every moment of this last year. He was there when when 5 years ago I began seeing an amazing Christian OB/GYN that God knew would be walking down this very difficult road with me. He was there when Timothy was formed in my womb. He was there in the sonogram room when my world turned upside down. He was there when the specialist was able to see us immediately, not the next day or the next week, but immediately. He was there when my friend, Katie, read the book "I Will Carry You" after having a miscarriage and then told me about the book. He was there when I read that book and it gave me a glimpse of hope that if someone else could go through what I was about to go through....then with the Lord's help I could do it too. He was there when everyone of you prayed for me, texted, called me, e-mailed me, and loved on me daily. He was there when celebrated Timothy's first Christmas and my mom had a stocking hanging for Timothy on the fireplace. He was there at our 30 week sonogram when the specialist, who I thought considered us stupid for not terminating the pregnancy, spent 45 minutes with us lovingly and compassionately doing a sonogram of Timothy and taking pictures of him for us.....and then told the receptionist not to charge us for the visit (that was a $500 gift from God). He was there when my sweet sister drove 45 minutes at 9:00 at night just to come be with me because Warren was at Young Life, I was crying, and I didn't want to be alone. He was there when all of my siblings came and spent a weekend with me in Dallas before Timothy was born...just to help me pretend like life was at least somewhat "normal" for a moment. He was there when my dad let me ask him all kinds of medical questions and let me cry on the phone over and over again. He was there when my mom drove up to Dallas on a moments notice to go to a doctor's appointment with me. He was there when so much of our family took time off from work and came from near and far to be there for Timothy's Birthday. He was there in the operating room when I thought I was going to pass out before the surgery even started. He was there in the waiting room amongst everyone that was waiting and praying for us. He was there when Timothy came out kicking and took his first breath. He was there when Timothy opened his eyes and looked at his daddy for the first time. He was there when Timothy snuggled up against my cheek. He was there when Timothy struggled to breath and then took his last breath. He was there in the hours that we got to hold Timothy's earthly body. He was there when a precious women from NILMDS took beautiful pictures of Timothy that we will cherish for a lifetime. He was there when our hearts were breaking as we said goodbye. He was there when Warren's sister lovingly took Timothy from our arms and made sure he was completely taken care of after that. He was there in the moments of the deepest sorrow I have ever known. He was there in the sunrise the next morning. He was there when I stood up for the first time after having a c-section and thought I was going to die from the pain. He was there when three amazing nurses took care of me with so much compassion and love in everything that they did. He was there when our family members came to the hospital and unselfishly served us in every way that they could (including bringing Bahama Buck's snow cones). He was there through the hands of every family member that spent hours in our backyard planting a special garden for us as a remembrance of Timothy's life. He was there when I couldn't breath when I saw Timothy's little white casket. He was there calming my heart. He was there at the memorial service.  He was there when the gospel was proclaimed because of Timothy's life. He was there when story after story was shared with us of how Timothy's life had changed someone else's life. He was there when we got an unexpected life insurance check in the mail that completely covered the cost of our medical expenses and extra funeral expenses...that hadn't already been paid for by precious loved ones. He was there when friends brought us meals for a month. He was there when a sweet couple handed us a check and told us to spend it getting away for a few days and we got to go spend time together at a beautiful state park in Oklahoma. He was there when friends and family sent beautiful jewelry and special gifts as remembrances of Timothy's life. He was there when Warren lovingly went on walks with me every day after Timothy was born until my doctor told me I could run again. He was there when I questioned Him and thought I would never stop crying. He was there through every terrible ache and pain as my body healed from a c-section with no baby in my arms to distract me and to tell myself it was all worth it. He was there as I read scripture and He began to heal my heart. He was there as I prayed and poured out my heart to Him. He was there in every moment. I can look back and see the fingerprints of God all over everything. He was there. 

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did you leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, you are faithful

I  still miss my little baby boy deeply and my arms long to hold him, but today I want to proclaim the goodness of my God! I want to proclaim his faithfulness! I pray that you will not turn away from God in your heartache and in your despair, but that you will run to him like never before. I pray that He will show you that He is there and that you will never walk alone.

Life Without Timothy... My New "Normal"

Well, it has been six weeks since Timothy was born. I have no more big belly, no more doctor's appointments, no baby stroller, no car seat, no crib, no baby in my arms.  To every stranger that I pass I am just a normal person now. No one would know that I now bare a several inch long scar on my lower abdomen and an even bigger scar on my heart. No one would know that six weeks ago I gave birth to a precious baby boy and then watched him take his last breath only minutes later.  No one would know that sometimes I can't think straight when I see a stranger with a pregnant belly or a stranger with a precious newborn baby. I wonder what it feels like to have a "normal" pregnancy, what it feels like to hold a son or daughter in your arms for the first time and imagine all of the days that are ahead with them. I wonder if they realize how blessed they are. I wonder if they realize what a miracle their healthy baby truly is. I miss my big belly, I miss my little kicker, I miss my Timothy!

The first several weeks after Timothy was gone were the hardest. I have never felt so much pain, so much sadness, so much heartache in my life. Tears fell often and they fell hard. Everyday I felt the weight of  seeing Timothy's moments of life, remembering holding him in my arms, and then coming to grips with the fact that, while on this Earth, I would never see him and I would never hold him in my arms again. I kept thinking, "It's not fair! That one day went so quickly! I would give anything to hold him in my arms again...I just want one more day with him! Lord, why can't I just have one more day with him?"

But I know that one more day would never have been enough.... and then in the midst of my tears and in the midst of my crying out to God....he was there. He was there saying "I have got this. I can be trusted. You did what I called you to do. I am proud. Keep taking it one day at a time. I am here. I will uphold you. My plan is good. I love you." Six months ago when we got the news about Timothy's condition, I could not imagine how I was going to get through this. I mean I REALLY did not know how I was going to walk through each day knowing what was lying ahead for our sweet Timothy. And yet here I am. I am still standing. I am on the other side of this journey and I can look back at all that the Lord has done in my life. I can look back at the joy he gave us in carrying our sweet Timothy. I can look back at the strength he gave us each day. I can look back at the fierce love of our family and friends. I can look back at his abundant grace. I can look back at the ways he provided for us. I can look back and still see a loving and faithful God.

Angie Smith wrote in her book, "I could have easily slipped into a life of resentment after we lost Audrey...picking yourself up and going about your life as if it's all a gift isn't easy when you have lost something so precious,..but that is just it...I can either focus on what I have lost, or what I have gained, and I choose the latter." 

That is my new "normal". The days, the hours, the minutes that I choose to focus on what I have gained from having Timothy in my life for the last nine months are great days, great hours, and great minutes. When I start to focus on what I have lost, what will never be, I am overwhelmed with sorrow and grief. So, today I choose to focus on what I have gained. I choose to trust. I choose to take one step forward at a time.

There is still sadness. There are still tears. But in the midst of the sadness, there is peace and there is joy. There is joy in knowing that I have done what God called me to do. I took care of Timothy as long as I could and then I entrusted his life to him and he called him home.  There is peace because I know where Timothy is. There is peace because I know that God has used this for good in my life and in the lives of others. There is joy as I begin to think about the possibility of God blessing us with another baby someday. There is joy as I spend time with friends, with family, with my amazing husband. There is joy when I get to be out in God's creation. There is joy when I get to serve and love on people. There is joy and there is  peace when I think about the days ahead because I know I can trust the Lord with whatever he brings into my life. Life without Timothy will never be easy, but I can continue to walk in faith because God has shown himself more faithful and more loving than I could have ever imagined! 

I Will Never Be The Same Person. My Letter To Timothy

I have so many thoughts and emotions right now that I don't know if I could even begin to share all of them with you but I will try to at least share a few. Wednesday, April 4th, will forever be a day that changed my life. It was one of the happiest days of my life as I finally got to see  my precious baby boy, kiss him, and hold him in my arms. My first sight of Timothy was of Warren holding his hand and his legs and feet kicking in the air as the nurses worked quickly to get a diaper on him and clean him off. In the instant that I saw his feet kicking and him moving so well, I thought he was going to be able to stay with us for a little while. He looked so perfect, so healthy, so strong, so normal. However, moments later it became clear all too quickly that Timothy's life was fading fast from this Earth. Even though I had a false sense of hope for a moment, I have no doubt that is exactly how God wanted me to see Timothy and how he wanted me to forever be able to remember him. I remember him alive and well, kicking his long legs in the air. I remember his soft warm cheek snuggled against my cheek, his beautiful & perfect red lips, his big nose (Warren & I joke about who he got that one from...and I think we both agree he had a Trisomy 13 nose). I remember his beautiful blonde eyelashes that were so long they curled upwards, I remember his tiny hands, his tiny feet, and his perfect long legs. He was truly a beautiful baby and from the outside looking in you wouldn't even know what was going on. God gave us Timothy and we were able to share his life with so many of our family members that were able to be there with us for Timothy's birthday. I feel that God orchestrated him being breech so that we would choose a C-section for his delivery and our family would all get to see Timothy and hold them in their arms too. I can't imagine not having been able to share that moment with them. So, I thank the Lord for helping us to make that decision and I don't regret it for one moment. Wednesday, April 4th, the day we held Timothy in our arms, will forever be a day that I remember and cherish with all of my heart!

One of the happiest days of my life ended with the hardest and most heartbreaking moment I have ever experienced, saying goodbye to my son and letting him go from my arms. Warren and I snuggled in my giant hospital bed together and held Timothy in our arms. We cried together and then we prayed together. We gave our son back to his Heavenly Father. I have no doubt that in that moment Jesus wept with us and felt every sting of pain that we felt. I have no doubt that He was there with us, holding us, and giving us the strength that we needed. He was there. He did not leave us or forsake us. He was there whispering truth into our hearts. "Timothy is my son, whom I love. Timothy is not here. This is only his broken, Earthly body. He is already with me. I love him. I have prepared a place for him. He is in a better place. You will go to him but he will not come to you. I love him. I have him. You can let go and trust me. I am in control. I love him. I love you. I will be with you." And so clinging to each other and to our precious Savior, we said goodbye to our sweet baby boy.

I will never be the same person I was 9 months ago. God gave us a gift. He gave us Timothy. This is the letter I wrote to Timothy about how he changed my life. My mom read this letter at Timothy's memorial service. What a special blessing and honor that was for me to have her read this letter for me because I knew there was no way I would be able to make it through it.


Dearest Timothy,
     Oh, how I wish more than anything that you could be here with us on this Earth. I wish that you could grow up to be just like your dad. Because this world desperately needs more Godly men like him. So, my heart breaks. I mourn and I cry that you will not be here with us on this Earth. But I know deep down in my heart that this is not a sad day for you. You have been welcomed with open arms into the presence of your heavenly Father who loves you more than I ever could. 
      I began to pray for you the moment we found out that I was pregnant. I prayed that you would come to know Jesus at an early age and that you would walk with him all of the days of your life. I prayed specifically that your life would bring God glory, and I know without a doubt my prayers have been answered. Your life has brought God so much glory and you will be with him forever. I do not regret for a moment any of the days the Lord gave us with you, and I do not believe God made a mistake when he made you. I know that he knit you together in my womb and that all the days ordained for you were written before one of them came to be. I believe that God has plans to use your short, but precious life for so much good in my life and in the life of everyone around you.
     I am so thankful for the precious nine months that we were given with you inside my belly and for the wonderful day that we got to hold you in our arms. Because of you, my life will never be the same! Your life brought me closer to our Heavenly Father than I have ever been. Your life taught me how powerful prayer truly is. Your life taught me how to truly trust our Savior. Your life taught me that God’s Word is true when things in life are good and when things in life are bad. Your life taught me that I can’t walk through a day of life on my own but must surrender each moment to God. Your life taught me more about the love of the body of Christ. Your life taught me that this world is broken, this world will never be our home, but that those who believe in His name can look forward to our new home in heaven. Your life taught me to cherish each moment we are given with our loved ones on this Earth.  Your life taught me that so many of the things in life that I thought mattered so much don’t matter at all. Your life has given me a whole new understanding of what God felt when he sent His one and only Son to this Earth to die for us, and your life has given me a whole new appreciation for what Jesus did on the cross for us that allows us to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Your short life has taught me so much!
     Timothy, you are my precious son, whom I love and cherish with all of my heart. Know that I deeply miss you already and my heart breaks because you cannot be here with us now. But know that I look forward to the day I will be with you again. I look forward to the day when Jesus will wipe away every tear from our eyes. The day when there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. So, goodbye for now my sweet boy, but only for a little while. I love you!


Love Always,
Your Mommy

Sweet Words From Timothy's Daddy

Warren wrote the sweetest poem the night we said goodbye to Timothy. The poem is written as if Timothy is talking to us. Warren also spoke at Timothy's memorial service on Saturday. He did such an amazing job! I will never forget hearing him speak truth about our loving and faithful God and our precious son, Timothy. I praise the Lord everyday for my incredible husband and I wanted to share with each one of you these precious words from him.

"Thank you all for coming. Julie and I deeply appreciate all your love and support. We read every note, email, facebook message and text. We felt so encouraged and loved. Because of your prayers, we felt a strength and a peace that only comes from God.I have a few words that I want to say. God has been teaching me so much these past few months and I want to share some thoughts with you. 

First, Timothy David Reichel was greatly loved. We loved him every bit of 9 months and 20 minutes that we got to spend with him. Timothy was not a mistake. He was not a fluke. He was not bad luck. Timothy was our son. He was a baby boy. And we loved him and will miss him very much. Timothy came into this world kicking and punching just as he did inside Julie for nine months. We kissed him and held him as our son. And not just us, but our whole family and friends loved him too. Timothy was greatly loved.

Second, I want you to know that it is okay to cry. You are not stronger if you can hold back tears. And you are not weaker if allow yourself to cry. We miss Timothy and are sad that we don’t get to see him here on earth. And it’s okay to cry about that. In fact, your tears show us how much you loved him too. Even Jesus wept when his friend Lazurus died. Jesus also said “blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” This is so true. I would rather spend a few days of sadness intimately close to my heavenly Father than ten thousand good days never needing God. 

Third, we firmly believe that we will see Timothy in heaven. God’s word tells us so. And we are assured by the spirit of God that speaks to our hearts that we will spend eternity with Timothy. Without God, our faith is weak, but with God  he provides the faith we need to believe these truths. We thank God for what Jesus did on the cross yesterday on Good Friday. He forgave our sins, gave us life, restored us back into God’s family, and promised us everlasting life. We will see Timothy again.

Fourth, I want you to know that it is also okay to smile. It’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to sing songs that praise the lord. And it’s even okay to be angry. You are allowed to have all these emotions. God can handle our emotions. But if you’re a Christian, it’s our joy that is most profound. That even in the midst of the darkest times, we can have joy and peace because we know the end of the story. That God will come back. That we will live forever. That there will be no tears in heaven. And that is profound and amazing. That as Christians, we can have joy in sorrow because we know God will redeem everything in the future. Our smile proves we believe this. 

Finally, although Timothy did not speak a single word, his life spoke so loudly that the earth quakes and the mountains tremble. Everyone can hear what Timothy has to say. My siblings will come and read a poem I wrote. These words I wrote are the words Timothy wanted to say to you and me."

I am in a Better Place

Mommy, Daddy

It’s okay to cry.

For by your tears

Your love shines bright.

Blessed are

The teary eyed.

God wraps his arms

Around those who cry.

I am in a better place.

I know you ask

Why, oh why.

Why must your son

Have to die?

Remember Jesus.

He was like me.

Innocent he died

To set us free.

I am in a better place.

Jesus rose

Up from the grave.

Your son you love

Will do the same.

No fear in death.

No guilt remains.

Our destiny

Forever changed.

I am in a better place.

The sunrise speaks

Of better days.

God deserves

All the praise.

Jesus loves me

This I know.

For here in heaven

He tells me so.

I am in a better place.

Mommy, Daddy

It’s okay to smile.

It proves you believe

You’ll see me in a while.

Mommy, Daddy

I miss you too.

I’m in God’s arms.

I’ll see you soon.

I am in a better place.

Pictures of Our Precious Baby Boy

This picture was taken seconds after Timothy was born. This was his daddy's first touch with his son. Warren grabbed his hand and said hi for the first time, and Timothy opened his eyes and looked straight at him. This was the only time that Timothy opened his eyes. What a precious memory that will forever be for Warren! We thank you Jesus for Timothy's life!

Timothy getting put into his little outfit by his Gigi, Grandpa (Mac), and Aunt Michelle. Look at those long, perfect legs and arms! He was absolutely adorable!

Me, still unable to sit up yet, holding Timothy in my arms shortly after they finished sewing me up. Warren was right next to me with his hand on Timothy's little hand.

Timothy with his proud mom and dad! We love you Timothy! We will never forget holding you in our arms!

Timothy David Reichel

Begin forwarded message:

With joy and sorrow, we want to share the news that Timothy David Reichel was welcomed into the world this Wednesday, April 4^th, 2012 at 7:55am. He was 4lbs and 13oz. He was almost 20 inches long and came out perfect, beautiful, and kicking. He went home to his heavenly Father at around 8:20 am, passing peacefully in his mother’s arms.  

Julie and Warren are so thankful they were able to spend time together with Timothy.  They are so sad that he couldn’t stay longer, but rejoice that he is now perfect and whole in heaven. He was surrounded with love today by grandparents, aunts, uncles, pastors, friends, and cousins who were able to be here for his birthday.

Timothy’s memorial service will be held at 1pm this Saturday, April 7^th, at RockPointe Church in Flower Mound.

The church address is: 4503 Cross Timbers Road, Flower Mound, Texas 75028

In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to Lewisville/Flower Mound Young Life in memory of Timothy to be used to send students to summer Young Life camp. It is our hope and prayer that through Timothy's memorial many of these student's lives will be forever changed as they have the opportunity to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Make Checks payable to Young Life. Checks may be mailed to Warren and Julie or directly to Young Life:

Young Life 

PO Box 292561

Lewisville, TX  75029

Please write “Timothy Reichel Memorial” in the memo line

Warren and Julie thank you so much for all of your prayers! They truly felt God's grace and peace.