I Still Believe

Everything that I have read and learned about God my entire life is being tested. Everything I have ever said I believed about God is at stake. In this moment when the suffering and grief are overwhelming, will I still believe in a loving, faithful, and just God or will I run from him in anger? -Julie

"It is one thing to believe that God is faithful and will supply all of your needs-even in the darkest of times. It is another to experience it. In the darkest of days, we've experienced a supernatural strength and peace that could only come from God."- Nancy Guthrie

She says it so well! It is one thing for me to have said I believe that God is faithful and it is completely different for me to have actually lived it. To have felt from the depths of my heart, in the midst of the deepest sorrow I have ever known, that HE IS FAITHFUL.  Instead of running away in anger, I  have found myself running straight towards him. And I have found his arms wide open. I have never felt so loved by him in all of my life!

 I still believe that his ways are higher than my ways. I still believe he will work ALL things together for my good. I still believe that he knit Timothy together in my womb and that he sees and knows everything about him, this is not a surprise. I still believe that he has numbered all of our days, including sweet Timothy, and that he will take Timothy home in his time. I still believe that he is loving and faithful. I still believe that he is my strength, my strong-hold, an ever-present help in times of trouble. I will not walk alone. I still believe that Timothy's short life is not in vein and that it will bring him glory and honor. I still believe that God is the ultimate Healer and that he will heal Timothy's body on Earth or he will make him whole again in Heaven. I still believe in Heaven and that Timothy will soon be there in the presence of our God. I still believe that Timothy will feel no pain and cry no tears, for in heaven there is no more pain and no more tears. I still believe that he loves me dearly, more than I will ever be able to understand or comprehend. I still believe that he has not brought meaningless suffering into my life, and that he has a plan and a purpose for all of this that is good, and pure, and holy. I still believe!